Marathon Nursing

My daughter is 14 months old and still has no interest in drinking from anything other than me. While I have been a committed breast-feeder, and never imagined I'd have weaned her at this age, I'm having some issues with how it's taking its toll.

I am one of these women who seems to hang on to 10 or so extra pounds of blubber while nursing. (At least I'm hoping that is the culprit!) I eat well, I exercise regularly, and I have always been slim and healthy. In fact, I have had more issues in the past with keeping weight on than the other way around. So while I indulged in a few extra cups of heavenly gelato during my pregnancy, I really didn't go overboard, and feel that this fatty layer hanging on me isn't making sense. I gained about 25 -30 pounds, most of which was baby and water. And once all of that was gone, it seems as though at times I breastfeed more (when my daughter is sick, or having a growth spurt, etc.) the more jiggly I become. And when we're finally having some luck with the sippy cup, and I'm not forced to be the full time milk-machine, I slim down.

I have tried so many different vessels to feed this kid from. We're talking every kind of straw cup, bottles, hard spouts, squishy spouts, plain old fashioned regular drinking cups, cups and bottles that look like breasts, feel like breasts, cups with the coolest most colourful illustrations, plain cups, etc. I could go on and on. We have quite the collection, and she's not interested in it at all.

And not only have I tried every vessel under the sun, I have tried every juice, milk, smoothie concoction as well. The kid knows what she wants.

So aside from my thinking that I am never going to feel good about my body until I stop breastfeeding, I also can never stray very far and am feeling ready to embrace a bit more freedom in my life. And I can't forget to mention the fact that my nipples are cracked and blistered yet again. Aw, it takes me right back to the early days when my peanut was 6 and a half pounds and devouring my poor virgin breastfeeding nipples. Fond memories, I tell you!

So, this brings me to the subject of my feeling selfish in considering weaning. I feel as though my daughter will never drink from another source until she is presented with no other choice. I'm exhausted. I'm fat. I need a break!

I really would like to continue breastfeeding until she self weans, but it seems that this is a bit of an extreme breastfeeding scenario. I want to do the right thing. I want to give her a sense of security in making the decision herself as to when she's ready to move on from this cuddly feeding relationship. Plus it's winter here, we all just got over H1N1, and I'm sure other flu's and colds will make their way through our systems this season. When she's sick, breast milk is the best thing for her. I am convinced that she would have ended up in the hospital with H1N1 had it not been for breastmilk. She wouldn't eat anything else.

Having said all this, and with all of these feelings of guilt and fear of being a bad mother, should I assume that I am just as not ready as my daughter is to wean?