anyone out there who's reading this (and it seems there are a few of you - thank you!), is probably a mom too. and you probably know all too well what it's like to feel that being a mom, despite the fabulously dynamic person you once were, is all that you are now. i know that feeling all too well. i sometimes feel it like a bag of stones on my back, and other times it just feels like a dull nagging pain.
i love being a mom - i feel like i write this in every post. (it's true!) i think i would love being a mom more if it were a little less full time. like a full time job, not a full time life. like just a little bit of help here and there. a little more me time. just a little - it honestly doesn't take much. i simply crave a new perspective, and the feeling that i am not needed every minute. i crave to fulfill a need, a want, a desire of my own once in a while.
so today after my husband told me he was taking a nap after suggesting going out for some sort of nature hike as a family, leaving the refusing to nap baby to me, leaving the fairness of giving the woman who was up for 2.5 hours the night before with the baby a nap instead of taking one himself... (i make him sound like a jerk, but really he's not. he's exhausted and run down just like me but doesn't seem to see just how much i give and how little i take. it's partially my fault for not being more forthcoming with this information.) anyway, after a walk and playing, i finally got my baby to sleep and told my husband he's on his own.
i left the house (gasp!) and went to a movie by myself. totally spontaneous. totally awesome. i saw julie and julia. it was quite inspiring and cute. he would have hated it. and really, that was part of the beauty of my self-date. i didn't have to explain why i liked it, what i liked about it. it just was. there was no need for anything. it was pure delight being surrounded by a new set of walls, meeting new characters, and not having anyone asking me for anything.
i am most certainly going to do this more often.
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yay! sounds absolutely wonderful. good for you!
ReplyDeleteand that 'leaving the refusing to nap baby to me' happens here too sometimes. ugh.
Good for you! My husband isn't home enough to just take off....but you do have to take time for yourself. Mom's need breaks too!
ReplyDeleteThanks for the comments. Yes, taking a break definitely gives us a different perspective, and I feel like I can be a better mother when regular life resumes. It's good for everyone.
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